Really, who says that?!?!?!

Sometimes I'm struck by how my children's minds work. Often I'm left thinking, really?!? or who says that?!? or boy that reflects poorly on my parenting ability...oh well.
Yesterday we spent a MARATHON day in town. I'll preface this by noting that the kids did really well in town running errands for 8 hours, mostly really well anyhow. There was a period of time while we waited outside the bank that Nadine and Ryan were sure, absolutely certain, that their dad had run away and wasn't coming back. Truth is I was kind of starting to wonder the same thing myself but if you let the kids smell your fear, you're sunk.

The boys both fell asleep when we were driving around town. This gave Nadine time to think.
"Mom, can we change Ryan's name to Helen?" she asked. I told her that ultimately we'd have to ask him if he wanted to be called Helen. So when we got to the furniture store and I took my entourage of peeps to the bathroom which is a production in and of itself.
"Hey Ryan." Nadine gets ready to make her pitch, "wouldn't you like us to start calling you Helen?"
"No" was the brief and immediate response.
Nadine shrugs "I guess he doesn't want to be Helen mom...too bad"
Later that day, like several hours later. I'm in the Canadian tire bathroom with Nadine.
"It's sure too bad Ryan doesn't want to be called Helen." she says "I wonder what's wrong with him?"
"I guess he just likes his name to be Ryan" I told her.
Then as they sat on the Canadian Tire quad selection pretending to race while Braeden chewed on a dirt bike tire Nadine tried it out anyway. "Helen, hey Helen, HELEN." But with no response from her brother whose name she feels was chosen poorly she quickly gave up, thankfully.

At Boston Pizza I learned from Ryan that "I'm a hungry insectivore. I eat insects". Now at Boston Pizza as we were ordering bugs and cheese for the kids that worked out just fine, however I'm hoping he will have left his insectivore ways behind him come spring and summer...Hopefully it's just a dietary phase that I can be thankful came about in the non insect season.
Then I learned my attempt at teaching Ryan manners has fallen short of the mark. As he states to the waitress, who thankfully didn't notice "Hey, I'm out of juice, get me some coffee"....really?!? Tim said it was reminiscent of many airline pilots he used to work with ordering coffee.

Are you aware of how many ways there are for a 4 year old boy to ask to go his Grandma's house?
We start at a few rounds of, "Mom can I go to Grandma's". and "Mom, it's time for me to go to Grandma's." If he states it confidently he may at some point trick me with that one if he thinks of it before I've had enough coffee.
If and when that's not effective he asks "Mom can I load the trailer?" "What trailer Ryan" I ask. He shifts a little and says "uh, the trailer....at Grandma's house."
Then we move on to "Mom I told Grandpa I'd go help him clean the shop. Could you drop me there please?"
"Mom Grandpa needs my help with the backhoe, could you drop me there?"
"Mom my hand is broken, I broke it, see (while flapping it)...broken...I'll need to go with Grandpa to his 'poinment" (that being a physio appointment)
"Sure mom lets have some lunch and then we can head over to Grandma and Grandpa's house"
"Well, I suppose I should head on over to Grandma's house I guess"
Then at some point we come scrambling down the stairs in a tearing hurry and exclaim "Mom HURRY QUICK we have to get over to Grandma's house!!!" as though if he were to surprise me in hopes of getting me in a flap I'd race right over.
Then we have lunch.
Literally all those requests and several more happen in the span of just a couple morning hours.
By afternoon we review the above requests and at some point state "BUT MOM I NEED to go to Grandma's for 20 days!"

I've really got to learn to bake better.